Part two, as promised!

Bit of an odd week, on the one hand, I achieved certain goals, found out some great news but also find myself in a strange mindset. By that I simply mean that for someone who in all honesty, should be dancing around the room full of the joys of life, I find myself in a mood that can be described as melancholy. I don't seem to be feeling the happiness I should be having, its like its again shut off from me and I'm inside some glass box able to view it, but never really touch it. Yeah, odd is the right word, because I don't feel depressed in the slightest, if anything just a little anxiety about finishing off a big project.

So what am I going to talk about today, well I guess we can get around to that part two of things I love and the stuff that dreams are made of. So I'm going to talk about my photography, well if that is what you can call it, I know there is a massive debate about what that is these days. Quickly highlight that point, as it is very important for this blog, since the invention of the digital camera and software programs like photoshop, the line between digital art and photography in my opinion is somewhat blurred. Photography is the art of creating images, the debate is how those images are created or even presented.

Now that is out of the way, one of the reasons I've explained it will come up later, for now, know that I describe myself as an amateur photographer who loves to dabble in digital art. Long winded I know, but it does sum up wonderfully what I do, as my skills are far from professional, and that isn't me being over critical. When you see the things that professionals produce, I'm not even in the same league, and that is a good thing for me, its something to aspire to. So I need to break down that long winded description don't I?

Forest Scene - Pure camera work here, no edit

I oddly took loved photography from a young age, but never really pursued it, again that situation where I could take really good photo's believe it or not but nobody really showed a huge interest. I remember my mother being very impressed by a shot I took of a gymnast in mid air using a very basic camera. No motion blur, perfect focus, I tracked her on a trampoline for about a minute, keeping up with her movement to get that shot. Sadly, I didn't really go anywhere with it, it wasn't like I went to my parents 'hey, I love photography, can you get me a good camera'. No, I just moved on, it wasn't really the lack of interest, I honestly from what I remember, just felt that it wasn't for me, I was far more obsessed with science at the time if I'm 100% honest. Anyway, moving forward, I took advantage of a photography adult learners course, learnt all about how the camera works, even learnt how to develop black and white images. I have to admit, that was great fun, but again, my interest, it was fun to learn but I had my sights set on something different. You'll see that a lot with me to, get an idea, think its good but then something shiny comes along and I'm chasing a new dream, it was the reality of untreated and undiagnosed bipolar.

So the history lesson over, I didn't bother for ages, years went by, but I eventually found myself in the company of various people who did a little photography, mostly as a hobby, some as professionals. These ranged from a wonderful friend who is my evil twin as I call her to cosplay friends. Yeah, through seeing amazing nature photography to taking part in cosplay shoots, I started to get that itch that initially made me want to take pictures. Only now, I was far more stable, I understood what it was about the art form that attracted me, it was that ability to capture an image. Didn't have a camera though and this was the weird setup that led me to owning one, because after you read that, you won't see it coming trust me.

Both my wife and I love astronomy, and after a while, and due to a certain evil twin, we got our passion rekindled. We watched the new 'stargazing live' and from that, we bought a lovely reflector telescope, can you see where this is going?

You guessed it, I wasn't the only one interested in photography, so was my wife and she really wanted to try out some astrophotography. So we set out, we saved up, asked around and got a great little canon camera for us to share. Lovely little semi-professional dslr, our first real digital camera, something we both had to get used to. Turned out I didn't, my wife picked it up really quickly, she has the most amazing eye and was snapping pics, using the manual options and taking command of the camera. I was using the same, taking photo's and failing entirely to even get one in focus shot, yeah I know I could have used the auto features, but that's not going to produce the shots I want. Well, I nearly gave up again, really was about to pack it in until my dad offered me an old slr camera with a good set of lenses. Only problem it was a Nikon, no good for our current digital model, but I had the brainwave, what if I buy a Nikon body, use the lenses as I know from research that the old lenses fit the newer bodies, just no auto focus. So, a little bit poorer, but it was the right move, seriously within mere moments of getting the camera and trying out the lenses, I was nailing shot after shot of birds in my mothers garden, I lost hours. I felt amazing, turned out that the interface on the Nikon was Richard proof, in other words it was less complicated but offered me quick and easy control to switch between settings, something I had failed to do on the canon.

Rosemary by firelight - Again nothing fancy, just silhouette no edit

Since then I have been honing my skills, taking photo's of anything I can, from landscape to models, I even got to take part in a few big shoots and picked up some awesome tips from professionals I am now fortunate to call friends. Hell if I'm honest, two of them in particular have heavily influenced my style. And then came the real breakthrough, the one that took my photo's into the area I really want to go, photoshop and the ability to edit. I had experience with editing footage, using things like after effects, which when I came to photoshop proved useful as they are not that different in reality. I was able to edit my photo's, create weird art, which I did, and some of it was bloody terrible, I mean seriously bad, but I loved the attempts. And that was the point, every attempt, every new shoot, every moment I spent tweaking, I got better. I went from making something that personally a primary school kid could do these days to something that may not professional, but I can be at least a little proud of. See I suck at art, I can't sketch, barely paint, ok I can sculpt pretty well but that's not the point. Photography, along with digital media, had finally given me a way to express my artistic side, yeah its weird, I may have more miss than hit but the whole thing is still me being able to do something I otherwise would never dream of.

Landscape - Now this is edited, not heavily, but I'm still learning

In only a few years I've gone from fiddling with images, trying my best to being asked to attend shoots while also organising my own. Can you imagine that?

This guy who couldn't stay focused, now has the chance to work on shoots he'd only dreamt about. The most amazing part is I get to work with friends and even make new ones through it. I've done some bonkers shoots from boudoir to aliens. I've had fun days out, where I've got to photography glow worms, red kites and even a fun bug hunt in my own garden so my wife, myself and a good dear friend could do macro photography (look it up, its fun) on the things we could find. So what has happened is after years, of not being to express myself I now have multiple things, yeah I highlight cosplay and photography as they are huge factors in my life. But that is far from all and in reality I need to add a third thing, something I can discuss in a part three of this blog, my love of nature and the wonderful friend who has helped it blossom.

I've thrown a few random images in this instalment, they are just examples of my work in photography, I stuck to the basic images as a lot of my more weird ones include models and I'd rather have permission before showing them in my blog. Something to add to my to do list!.